Boyin Plumptre

Boyin Plumptre

Full-time scammer.
April 29, 2020

Ladies, see our lives on these streets… Just two months ago, we were the cream of the crop, nails done, hair done, everything did. Getting bi-weekly pedicures,waxes and deep conditioning treatments was such a given, the idea that it would be taken away from us seemed almost laughable, and yet, again: We spoke to 6 […]

alone
April 27, 2020

You know how they say cheer up, things could always be worse? Well they ain’t ever lie. Granted, we’re home alone or with family – our genitals whittling away from zero use, coming to terms with the fact that the rice at home isn’t always from the best location, but trust us, things could really […]

April 27, 2020

Of all the things the lockdown could possibly make us long for: a simple day at the salon, the warm touch of your favourite barber, a night of unholy rocks with your best friends, the usually horrible feel of a Monday morning didn’t seem like it would make the cut. And yet, here we are […]

April 21, 2020

They say you can’t miss what you never had. (Un) Fortunately for us single pringles, while everyone is collectively worrying about issues like oil prices, practising safe social distancing and lockdown etiquette, we’re excused from worrying about another matter. One of the heart — being apart from your significant other while the coronavirus is contained. […]

April 17, 2020

As we may remember, Maryam Sanda was convicted and sentenced to death by hanging, for the murder of her husband – Bilyaminu Bello, in January 2020. With overwhelming evidence and the corroboration of a violent streak by a friend of Bello’s — he witnessed a vicious marital spat the day of the killing — Maryam […]

April 16, 2020

It’s 2020. Everybody’s home, on lockdown and bored out of their lower eyelids. We’ve gotten enough Instagram lives to start a cable network out of and somewhere in the distance, someone just started a podcast series. Which is why, now more than ever, some Nigerian artistes who shall be named, have absolutely no excuse to […]

April 15, 2020

There are a lot of things this lockdown has taught us about ourselves – we can actually sit down in one place, contrary to what our mothers and the attendance registers at the clubs say. We’re all (closet) optimists, forget all the strong man we like to form on social media. And we’re also, when […]

April 14, 2020

In a rare sighting, our now grounded travel vlogger president addressed the country read from a sheet of paper and gave Nigerians updates concerning the coronavirus. The address told us a bunch of things we already suspected. The lockdown would be extended for another two weeks, its extension is a matter of life and death […]

April 9, 2020

Look, Nigerians are special, there’s no other way to put it. When we aren’t winning jollof wars and well … that’s mostly out selling point, but when we aren’t ahowing out in the kitchen, we’re displayibg skills singe Nigerians don’t even knoe they possess. Some of our favourites agree: How to pull small gen See, […]

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